Saturday, 15 June 2013

Finally the wedding Day arrives - part 2 Our Turkish Wedding

When David and I decided to get married last August, one thing that we both agreed on was that we wanted to marry in our village and that we wanted it to be a Turkish style wedding. Hence my last post left my daughter and I arriving at the Camlik restaurant where the wedding was to take place along to the beat of the Turkish band's drum, far removed from 'Here comes the bride'.


My daughter and I arriving at the wedding to the beat of the Turkish drums
photo credit: James Dorrington
Previously when we had talked about our guest list, we had thought that probably not many members of our family would be able to make the trip to Turkey, so we were so pleased that three of our five children were able to come as well as several other family members from the UK, and David's sister and brother in law came all the way from America - it took them two days to travel each way. We also invited several people who we had met since coming to live in Turkey and were delighted that most of them accepted our invitation.

One question that many had asked was "what should we wear?" and we had replied that people should come however they felt comfortable, casual or otherwise. One of the first things I noticed on my arrival was how incredibly smart everyone looked and what an effort they had all made, and I felt very honoured indeed that they had done this on our behalf.

The second thing I noticed was that the trusty volunteers had done us proud with their preparation of the restaurant's grounds and we thank you all for giving your time so generously to do this for us.

Thirdly I saw two huge floral displays sent by two of the village businesses, something I definitely was not expecting and such a very kind thought. Thank you to you both.

The one thing I did not notice until afterwards, when I looked at the photographs was that from my arrival onwards I spent the entire day with my mouth open grinning. Obviously I must have been extremely happy throughout the entire proceedings.

The wedding vows
photo credit: James Dorrington
First were the wedding vows, which were very short but very lovely, and the lady from Uzumlu Belediye who conducted the ceremony came fully robed and made the proceedings very personal. As we were only required to say "Yes" (or presumably could have said "No" if we had wished) we proudly said "Evet" into the microphone at the appropriate moments as did both our witnesses. We did smile when she repeated the words for David having said them to me, and the interpreter's translation was "That was pretty well what she just said to Jacqui"! Having gone through the dialogue, the witnesses and ourselves were required to sign our wedding book, which she then passed to me saying "I give this record of your wedding to the bride, because it is the woman who makes the home" I thought that was lovely. She then kissed us both and within around 8 minutes we had become man and wife, and at last I could have a well earned and much needed drink of alcoholic beverage.

The ceremony was beautifully personal
photo credit: James Dorrington
David and I looking ridiculously happy at having just become man and wife
photo credit: James Dorrington
The rest of the day surpassed our wildest dreams and we would like to thank everyone who travelled near and far to be a part of our celebrations, you all made it the wonderful day it was. Also a very big thank you to Ertan and his staff at the Camlik restaurant for being such wonderful hosts and preparing the wonderful food, to Eddy at Eddy's Place for arranging the fantastic wedding breakfast, and to everyone who helped us with our wedding, in particular our dear friend Eddie who drove us miles and miles to ensure that we did all that needed to be done to organise it.

A couple of weeks later whilst speaking to the photographer he told me he had really enjoyed our wedding, I told him that we had been overwhelmed with how well it had gone, that we had thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and felt that everyone else had too. He said "you can see they did, it shines through in the photographs". So without any more words, I will let the photographs do the talking for me .........


Photo credit: James Dorrington
Photo credit: James Dorrington
Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington
 
Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington
 
Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington
 
Photo credit: James Dorrington
 
Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington
 
Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington
 
Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington

Photo credit: James Dorrington
 
Photo credit: James Dorrington

Saturday, 8 June 2013

The wedding day finally arrives - part one

Our wedding invitations and buttonholes
photo credit: James Dorrington
After months of planning the wedding day finally arrived, and we kicked off with an early wedding breakfast for family and friends at one of the village restaurants of which we are particularly fond - Eddy's Place.

We were so pleased that a group of friends who we had met through our blog were over from the UK on  holiday, and it was brilliant that they managed an incredibly early start to get themselves from Oludeniz to Uzumlu for 8.30 in the morning to join us at the breakfast. It was great to meet them and their Turkish friend who drove them here and we look forward to meeting them all again when they return to Turkey later this year.

In spite of a rather dubious weather forecast we were able to enjoy our breakfast outside in the sunshine and it was a great start to the day.


Enjoying the wedding breakfast with family and friends in the sunshine at Eddy's Place in Uzumlu
photo credit: James Dorrington

The ever patient David being given his list of things to do!
photo credit: James Dorrington
As I wrote in my previous post my daughter and I had been unwell for several days so there was lots of things I should have done but hadn't. Because I am a perfectionist, it doesn't come naturally to me to trust other people to do things to my standards and the thought of leaving other people - unsupervised- to carry on with the wedding preparations would normally freak me out completely. But I must be developing the more laid back Turkish attitude since living here, because as my daughter and I had to leave the breakfast to go on to Fethiye for the hairdressers at 10.00 am I had no option but to leave the fate of my special day totally in the hands of others. So with the kind volunteers in control of decorating the restaurant, David left with a list of things to do and our friend Eddie who had kindly offered his car as my wedding transport going to Fethiye to have it decorated, Jo and I left Uzumlu and headed off to the metropolis to have an overhaul. I was however, expecting to return to the village with a couple of hours to spare to go to the venue and do any last minute bits and pieces. Wrong!!!

I had visited the hairdressers some weeks beforehand, taking with me my wedding day hair adornments and with the help of a Turkish friend as translator had painstakingly explained how I wanted my hair to be and had made a booking for that morning. So it was more than a little shocking when we arrived that the hairdresser was nowhere to be seen, and the staff that were there seemed to be more than surprised to see us and spoke no English. We eventually pointed at their bookings diary and I opened it at the right date and triumphantly pointed at a 3 hour booking in my name. It didn't however, do me any good as for some reason the hairdresser was not there and had no intention of being there that day. After much arm waving and pointing we established that the first step was for us both to have a manicure and pedicure and this was started straight away.

I think it would be fair to say that Turkish people in general have absolutely no sense of urgency and words can't describe my frustration with so much left to do to be stuck in a chair unable to explain that they needed to step it up a notch. 11.00 am passed, midday passed, 1.00 pm passed and still we had not got beyond feet and hands, even though we had expected to be back in Uzumlu by then checking the venue was OK. With wet hair and nails, I went outside and smoked three cigarettes while I tried to call a friend to get them to print off the table plans that I had typed up at 6.00 am that morning. When I got no reply I felt utterly helpless and alternated between hot and cold sweats and total panic. By the time I had finished my third cigarette I thought there is nothing I can do about it so I will have to calm down - would it really be so terrible if people sit where they like at the wedding?

Finally make up was on and our hair was started. Obviously we couldn't explain what we wanted so we just went with the flow, and finally we left the hairdressers at 2.20 still in our slobby attire with a 25 minute drive home and the wedding vows due to take place at 3.00. So instead of being able to go to check the restaurant, we sailed past it on the way home to change and watched everyone already there waiting for the bride to arrive!

In the UK it is of course quite normal for the bride to be late. In Turkey with the council official booked to carry out the ceremony together with  a translator it is not quite so acceptable, and I heard afterwards that they were saying we can't wait much longer we have to go on to a meeting! We have never changed so fast in our lives and feeling rushed and hassled we set of to the Camlik restaurant almost half an hour late.

Finally leaving home for the wedding
photo credit: James Dorrington
Meanwhile down at the restaurant and with everyone waiting for the brides arrival the florists chose that moment to demand 650 tl more than we had agreed, and the 'discussion' became so heated that David had to take the man behind the restaurant to continue the discussion. The florist became very nasty and David had no option with my arrival imminent but to pay him and get him out of the way. So there is a company that we will certainly neither use nor recommend in the future.

The band start drumming heralding the arrival of the bride
photo credit: James Dorrington
Oblivious to this Jo and I were finally on our way, Eddie sounded the horn the whole way through the village and as we got within a mile of the venue we stopped the car so that he could phone and warn the band that we were on our way and they started to beat the drum as we came down the road. We put the car windows down as we drove the last part so that we could hear the drummer and it was the moment of no return.

Next post - Our Turkish wedding

Thursday, 6 June 2013

The course of true love never did run smooth and nor did our wedding plans

Camlik restaurant awaits the wedding guests
photo credit: Sue Barnes
Please forgive me for having taken time out from the blog to get married and enjoy the company of friends and family who travelled from the UK and from America to be with us on our special day. But now we are man and wife, all our visitors have returned to their homes around the world, we have reclaimed the sadly neglected garden, caught up with the housework and normal life can resume again.

Reading the last few entries on our blog, to remind me where we had abandoned it, I see that the most recent posts were mostly gloom and doom, with us having lost our old cat Horrace, one of our dogs becoming very ill and wedding plans in complete disarray, so picking up where I left off I have to continue in that vein for a little bit longer as I catch up on our lives in Turkey.

At the end of the last post I explained how my friends who were coming from England to help me set up and decorate the restaurant, through no fault of their own and for very valid reasons were not able to come here after all and that we had also been let down by the photographer within the last few days. Within hours of the post being published we were contacted by a friend in the village who together with her husband offered to give up their time to help us with the preparations, and a professional photographer from the UK who was holidaying in Oludeniz offered to take the photographs. We were overwhelmed with their kindness and without them we don't know what we would have done. Thank you so very much.to you all.

On the Friday before the wedding the first guests to arrive were my daughter & partner together with my grand-daughter Rosie. On the previous Monday, our Labrador Tyson's condition deteriorated and he suffered over 20 fits in two days. His blood sugars were low and nothing we did seemed to bring them back to normal. The fact that he could not be left alone meant one of us being with him 24 hours a day which seriously impeded all the jobs we had left to do to prepare for the wedding. We took him back to the vets who confirmed his low blood sugars. We fed him more frequently but this did not seem to make any difference, apart from the fact that he reached saturation point with food and just couldn't eat any more - a strange occurrence for a Labrador who normally eats everything! I went down to Fethiye and bought glucose powder and fed him this mixed with water and also spoonfuls of honey and thankfully by Thursday the fits were slowing down. We were very concerned about our guests arriving the next day as the fits were severe and not a pleasant thing to have to observe.

A rather bemused Rosie arrives at Dalaman
after her first ever plane trip
Our visitors duly arrived on Friday and I collected them from the airport in our hire car whilst David stayed with Tyson. While I was waiting at the bottom of the slope at Dalaman airport I thought to myself that I was feeling a bit emotional and was likely to cry when I saw my daughter & family coming down the ramp, especially as it was my grand-daughter's first trip to Turkey at only 6 months old. But I was holding myself together nicely until a lady coming down the ramp asked me if she could borrow my lighter. I asked her if she had just flown in from Stansted to which she replied "yes". I asked her if she had been on the Easy jet flight - "Yes" she replied "Who are you waiting for?" I said "My daughter" she then said "with a baby?" I told her "yes I am" she said she had sat near them on the plane and that the baby was incredibly well behaved and I had the most beautiful grand-daughter. Well that was it - I stood with this complete stranger and blubbed!!! Then my daughter arrived and she cried too. A very emotional but wonderful moment.

Tyson had one more fit that evening and then they finally abated. But he was a poor old thing after the amount of fits he had suffered and it was several more days before he was really OK again, a stability that thankfully continues now.

Later that evening more guests arrived from the UK and on Saturday we had very small stag and hen parties. David went down to the village with a few close friends and relatives and I opted to have a meal at home with the girls, so that my grand-daughter could go to bed. We both thoroughly enjoyed our evenings but my daughter retired fairly early not feeling too well and when I woke up the next morning I too was most unwell. We both spent an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom and thought that we had food poisoning. Sunday and Monday we were both in bed (when not in the bathroom) all day. On Monday evening we had three airport trips to make so David did two with a friend and I managed to get out of bed and do the third. But I was very afraid to leave the confines of the house to go out in public! I don't know how I did that trip but somehow managed it unscathed and without embarrassing myself.

We both still felt so ill on Tuesday that we went to the chemists for some medication. As luck would have it the doctor was outside the pharmacy having lunch with his friends so he gave us a free consultation and prescribed three lots of medication to take.We then heard of other people who had similar symptoms and it appeared to not be food poisoning after all but a virus that was going around.

By now of course the wedding was getting ever closer, as in tomorrow and it was all a bit of a worry. Being on a very tight budget we had opted to make all the arrangements ourselves and now we were way behind schedule. I went down to the restaurant that evening to meet the friends who had agreed to help me with the decorations and was totally overwhelmed to find not just the couple who had offered to help but many other ex-pat villagers arriving to help me also. But this is Turkey and the tables and chairs had not arrived the balloons were late and because of my being ill the arches had not been made. Unable to return the next morning myself, as I had to be at the hairdressers for 10.00 am I can't thank each and every one of them enough for offering to return the next morning to finish the preparations without me, a kindness and sense of camaraderie I can never repay.

The registrar's table all set ready for the wedding vows
photo credit: Sue Barnes
In my next post I will write how like phoenix rising from the ashes, and after another major glitch we climbed out of the gloom and doom and had a wedding day that in spite of the many problems in the run up to it and our limited budget, surpassed our wildest dreams, was one of the best days of our lives and one that we will remember forever.

To be continued ...........